The End is Just The Begining

 SO I have this other blog and I think I need to put the two together  

This is from the Bendixsen Bit's blog but feels like it should be here as well 

The End is Just The Begining

Some time ago our family took a very long road trip to a very special place. All the way there we heard the Oh Too Familiar “Are we THERE yet”? The road seemed long and tiresome and although at times we made the road fun for the most part is was all about wearing your seat-belt and staying where you belong and not getting lost and on and on. Seemed like more of a burden to get where we were going then the Special Place would be worth when we got there.

What our children did not know was the Special Place would be worth every minute they had to spend in the car. What could they in their inexperience know of their destination? They did not remember having been there and could not possible know that their parents were doing all they could to provide them with a grand and wonderful life experience. Soon they would have more joy then they had ever previously known.

When we arrived they were indeed thrilled. So many memories of that day fill my heart and theirs. Such reunions as they had never remembered. Families, gone from our presence but not forgotten, were waiting for us to greet us and fuss over us and share everything they had with us. It was indeed a marvelous time. We were so happy to be where our family was. The long road was over and the End was just the Beginning.

We are all part of a larger family, The Family of Our Father in Heaven. He too has asked each of us to go on a long journey to a special place. The road is filled with seat-belts that must be worn to keep us safe. At times we have fun, laugh and create a memory of the journey, but still we must follow the rules of this road. And when we reach our destination we too will be filled with the joy of being again with Family that we knew but perhaps because of time and distance and space have forgotten

Sometimes, in our lives, we make choices that take us places we do not want to be Yet, at other times, People in our lives make choices that leave us in places we do not wish to be. Still we stand together and that makes us strong. We are a forever family and we WILL Stand strong yet again, even if we do not want to stand here.

Here where the road seems longest, Here where the pain is felt most deeply. Here feeling left behind as everyone else moves on without us. Here, left Standing alone, on earth. Yet we remember something of our Home in Heaven each time we hold that new life that comes so fresh from our wonderful Heavenly Home. We feel it when we reunite with friends and loved ones in this mortal sphere. We feel it most tenderly when one we loves reaches the end of their journey and discovers,

The End is just the Beginning.

 

What I am Learning about Grief. 

What I am learning about grief, is that it is not equal.

 It slugs some hard in the chest, and leaves a hole, too long empty. 

It gently caresses others letting them know that although they are alone today in their sadness, they are not alone, at all.

Some need the wailing and weeping and shedding of tears,  to feel the hand of death, close and painful.

While others shake hands with that dark cloak, and sit quietly, reading a book of Joy, waiting  for him to decide it is time to leave.

No two persons experience Grief the same.

Fathers have been buried in silence, while Mothers have cried silent tears in the night because their bed is empty on one side

Brothers have been cheered and celebrated as they have come home from overseas,  only to find themselves quarantined at home for weeks, and still separated from the family they love.

I have learned that Joy can come from Grief.

 Pain is relieved and suffering is gone.  Bodies laid gently to rest under the watchful eye of family,  much to the uncomfortableness of the workers who usually don’t have an audience.

Babies still giggle as your heart longs to hold them. Now, letters come in the mail that never came before.  You’ve got mail is heard from the box to the door.

Flowers still bloom and remind us that we are all reborn from our dark cold grief into something beautiful, something that is more than it ever was before. 

Something that now shares that moment of night, with the sunshine of warmer days 

So you think you want to retire ?

My wonderful superhuman hubby and worked at his thankless job for over 30 years.  This last January, when he turned the big 60 he decided to retire and try his hand and happier and more pleasant pursuits, like fishing and visiting grandkids and such.   We filled out the papers and waited for the official good to go.   Then it came and we were free like the wind

We packed our bags and headed out on the first vacation in 40 years that we didn't have to ask permission to take .   How fun is that !

Georgia is perfect in march  not too rainy Just enough to clean the pollen out of the air,  and not to hot,  just sunny enough to keep us comfortable.   Perfect.
We enjoyed Birthday parties and BBQ,  Baseball and a Dancing little girl who learned to cartwheel.  Family dinners and private lunches at our special "Girls only" chicken salad place. 
Then we headed home. 
On the way home Dennis said he thought he might have picked up a bug walking along the river a few days before.  But he looked good and wasn't coughing so I just said maybe you are just tired from partying for 3 weeks  HAHA 
Got off the plane and he could hardly keep up.  Long story shorter,  He had come down with pneumonia and spent 10 days in the hospital, 5 of those in ICU slightly out of it and fighting Kidney failure.   
IF this is how he is going to do retirement,  maybe I should send him back to work.   HAHAHAHA 
Happy to report that after much rest and plenty of fluids and what has felt like Months,  He is finally on the mend. 

Our plans to be in Seattle and fishing this Summer are on hold for a bit but I am guessing that by fall he will be in full retirement mode.   Just in time for the Big ROAD TRIP to go and see the fall colors back east and the grandkids down south. 

Yes  I think I do want to retire. 

When it feels like Cheerfulness is not an option, What then?

When it feels like Cheerfulness is not an option,  What then?

My Motto is  “Life is a Choice,  Choose Cheerful,  Live Happy”

But what about those days when it feels like cheerfulness is too far away to be a choice?  What about those days when the sadness just coats your soul like heavy cream on a wooden spoon?   Those days when all the sad things of your life rise to the top of your memory and just float there, refusing to be reincorporated back into their spots of long ago.   I recently had a couple of those days.   Too many things aligned and like the ancient monsters of Greek lore, escaped their prison and surfaced to show their faces.  It was a flood of sad days and sad things that had happened.  Sad Goodbyes,  Sad faces,  Sad greetings,  Even Sad food.   What about THOSE Days?

          Even Those days,  Especially Those days, you have to get up and get out of bed and shower and get dressed, and show up to your life,  Even if you think there will be nothing worth smiling about,  Those days matter most.  

When building a godlike countenance,  some things are easy.  Being nice to nice people,  being happy during a happy time,  living by the rules when the rules make sense and you see happiness because of righteousness, are all things most of us can do with a fairly small amount of effort.  But we are not asked to do the easy,  we are asked to do the Godlike.  Be nice to people who are rude and thoughtless or worse mean and hateful and unkind.   We are asked to see the joy in all things,  the sunshine and the storm,  the sweet and the sour, the joyful and the sorrowful.  We are required to live all God’s commandments,  the Thou shalt not and the Thou Shalt.  Don’t kill people, but also love people who are rude to you in the shopping line.  Smile at that small child and that big guy who just cut you off in traffic.  Pray for that worker who didn’t care to do his job, thereby making your life more complicated.  All those things that make you want to scream.  THOSE  DAYS !

Those are the days, when it is the hardest that we must not give up.  Those are the days when we are closer to our goal then we realize. 

I watched a little person many years ago try to learn a new skill.  One that I will admit is hard for most people to learn.  His little fingers did not want to work the way he wanted them to.  He tried and tried to get them to work together to make the music he could hear in his head.  But time after time a finger would betray him and the sound would fail.   Finally,  sad and discouraged he said he just couldn’t do it and would have to give up.  What he didn’t know what that I could see that he was almost there  just a few more tries and he would have it.  He wasn’t as far away as he thought.   And so  I encouraged him to try one last time.   HOORAY  Success.   His smile could have lit the entire coastline.   He was so proud of himself and then he said something I have never forgotten.

Well, he said,  I guess I was just one try off.

We are all just one try off.  We are all just around the corner from our destination.  Does that make that last try an easier?  NO.  But it does make it worth trying.   And if you are two more tries or three or more,   Keep trying.   On those days when I just want to go back to bed and hide,  I remind myself that perhaps today is the day I will be able to keep my tongue in check and not offend,  Perhaps today is the day I will have patience all day,  or  find joy in that stranger who is also having a day like mine and thinks I should pay for his day.   Perhaps today will be the day when Joy finds me and lifts me up to a more cheerful state of being.   Perhaps today  Someone else will help me find Joy in the Journey.

So on those days, phone a friend. Grab a lifeline and hang on until help comes.  Because, really,  that is why we all keep trying, because today, just maybe,  you will be the joy in someone’s day that keeps them going.  Today,  when you feel like you just can’t,  Be  the answer to someone’s prayer for just a bit of joy.

Oh it is wonderful ?

     In our Hymnbook there is a hymn whose chorus opines that "Oh it is Wonderful, that He should care for me enough to Die for me.  Oh it is Wonderful, Wonderful to me."  The He in this case would be Jesus, and the death spoken of would be that atonement that took place in the garden and on the cross.
   
     All of my life I have loved this hymn,  and loved to sing it loud and with all the passion of one who want's everyone to know that I BELIEVE.
 
       Yet at times, when I fall short of the goal of Godly Perfection, I wonder if my shortcomings are really a manifestation of my lack of belief.  If I really believed, wouldn't I be a better Disciple,  A better example of what I profess to believe?  If I am a true believer shouldn't I proclaim my allegiance  to the Lord every time I am asked, and not just when I know it is safe to do so?

     Enter Peter, That same Peter who walked on water because he believed, yet faltered because he took his eyes off our Savior, and was asked "wherefore didst thou doubt?"   This Peter, who also denied the that he knew the Savior 3 times, went on to become might in his Testimony.  Mighty in he faith and Mighty in his Priesthood.

     If even the Mighty Peter could have moments of Human Weakness, and still come back to become who the Savior needed,  Who would stand and testify even unto Death, Then surely there is hope for me.

  I do stand, amazed at the Saviors love for me.  I do think of His hands Pierced and bleeding to pay my debt.  I do marvel that He would extend such great love and mercy.  I do look forward to the day when I too can kneel at his feet and there declare with a heart full of love and devotion.

OH It is Wonderful that He should care for me enough to die for me.
Oh it is Wonderful to me.

Perfection comes in small steps one at a time.  Like steps upon the windy water, we must make sure that each step is taken with our focus on the Savior.  Yet if we falter, become distracted by the wind and the world, and find our selves beginning to sink beneath the waves of doubt and despair, all we need do is call out. Lord Save Me and reach out our hand.  We will find his hand every time.

and That Is why He is Wonderful.

Some days it is harder than others to choose the cheerful path.  These last few months have been especially difficult as friends and family became more and more divisive  and at times almost hateful in their view points on how the world should be.

In the Movie "Hook"  Peter Pan needs to find his happy place in order to be able to fly.   We too need to find our happy place in order to soar above the din of the world and find that inner peace that so many are searching for.

Here are some thoughts on how to find that happy place, and how to help others find their happy place as well.

Mahatma Gandhi: “You must be the change you wish to see in the world”   

Mother Teressa: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” 

Buddha: “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”

Florence Nightingale:     “I am of certain convinced that the greatest heroes are those who do their duty in the daily grind of domestic affairs whilst the world whirls as a maddening dreidel.”

Martin Luther King Jr. : “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Jesus Christ : “Love one another as I have loved you, that ye also love one another, by this shall all men know ye are my disciples if ye have love one to another”

These people who changed the world around them and never once felt the need to shout obscenities, burn others property, insult those who did not agree with them, or even spam themselves all over the nightly news or a social media website.  They were not looking for attention,  they were not looking to become famous,  They acted quietly and consistently. They promoted a peaceful change in the world around them. They loved without judgement, they helped without fear, they gave their lives to the quiet service that brings about a real change in real people.  If you find that people are not listening to you rant and scream your cause,  perhaps it is time to try another way.  After we all learned that Actions speak LOUDER than words. 

We need to become more gentle in our actions and words while standing firm for those principles upon whose moral compass we rely to know how to be loving and kind and compassionate.  

Happiness is a choice we make when we are living by the standard and guidelines that were given by our most Loving and Kind Father in Heaven. 

 He who knows all and loves all, He who sees each of us as His own, and longs for us to each find that happiness, He has given us a way to be the happiest of all.  Simply be kind to one another.  Treat each person you meet with a bit more tenderness, and time.  Stop shouting and listen for a min,  and you just might find that you agree on more than you disagree. 

Happiness is a Choice,  Choose Cheerful and Kind, Live you life with more love,  Find your happy place. 

To Love and to be Loved is the Greatest Gift.

To find someone that truly loves you is a great gift from God

To love someone without reservation is our gift back to him.

To travel through life with those whom you love,

and

Who love you is joy beyond measure.

To Gather together your posterity and 

see them loving each other,

To know that when you are gone

there will be those who will carry on,

To know that your Family is Forever.

To laugh,

To share a quiet Moment, 

To find JOY in all around you, 

To cherish those most dear to you,

and feel their Love in return. 

To witness  kindness to another

To see the dedication of Good Parents

who once were your little ones 

To hold the future on your lap

And celebrate each advancing year 

To see a quiet moment among the generations 

and feel the love your posterity has for you

To know that this thing we call Family,

is just the beginning,

This,  is the Greatest Gift of all.

 Life is a choice. 

Choose Love.